Learning is hard—but why does it feel so frustrating, especially when we think we should already be good at something? In this episode, we explore the difference between knowledge acquisition and skill assimilation. We break down why courtroom communication requires practice, intentionality, and patience, even for experienced trial attorneys. And we'll ask the hard hitting question: How is courtroom communication like riding bicycles? 😉

LISTEN HERE...

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

1. Why acquiring knowledge is fun, but true learning feels difficult

2. The brain’s resistance to change and how to overcome it

3. Why practicing in low-stakes situations builds real skill

4. The importance of coaching and feedback in skill development

Key Takeaways:

🔑 Understanding vs. Mastery: Just because you know what makes a great communicator doesn’t mean you automatically are one.

🔑 Neural Pathways & Resistance: The brain resists change, making new skill development feel frustrating at first.

🔑 Adapting to New Environments: Speaking in court isn’t the same as everyday conversation—it requires intentional skill-building.

🔑 Repetition & Practice: Mastery takes time, and practicing outside of high-pressure situations helps build confidence.

🔑 Support Matters: Working with a coach can accelerate progress and make the learning process more effective.

Links & Resources:

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TRANSCRIPT:

—INTRO—

Helllloooo! Hello Foster Fam. Glad to be here again this week, and glad you're here with me. I hope you're enjoying these weekly episodes. I'm enjoying making them and I just hope they're giving you value. As always, I'd love to hear from you. Send me a DM or email, and drop in a star-rating or review.

Today we're going to talk about the art of learning, and there IS an art to it, but before we get into it, I just had to tell you about something I did last week.

If you've been with me for a while, you've heard me say that learning high stakes communication happens in low stakes situations. Meaning, the best time to practice the vocal strategies you need for better teaching in the courtroom, better exam in the courtroom, better storytelling in the courtroom, and better juror engagement in the courtroom is not IN the courtroom.

You develop the skills and the strategies in low-stakes situations. You try expanding your range, testing out louder volume, testing out softer volume, dipping your toe in the waters of trying a higher voice, play around with speed fluctuation. Do all of that OUTSIDE of the courtroom. Do it while ordering at the coffee shop. Do it while reading bedtime stories with your kids. Do it when exchanging casual pleasantries with...i don't know...WHOEVER you come across in the course of the day.

Practice new vocal skills with people that don't know you, that don't have prior knowledge of HOW you USUALLY are. You need to test the waters and build some safety for yourself. Create new neural pathways and new muscle memory.

I decided to try some range expansion last week when I went to lunch with my lifelong mentor & friend, Dennis. We met up for our quarterly visit and, as we sat down, I told him "Hey, just so you know, i'm gonna do something just a little wonky." I mean, I didn't want to scare him. haha! So...a little fair warning to him.

But when the waitress came over and asked what we wanted to drink, i replied (high) "Oh, water is just fine for me." I then ordered my "linguini al gorgonzola, but instead of mushrooms, could I get broccolini added?"

I did a video about it on Instagram, and I'll add the link to the show notes in case you want to check it out.

When she walked away, Dennis said "She had no idea. AND...she didn't even care."

And that was the whole point. LOW-STAKES situations will build the safety you need in order to level up your high-stakes courtroom communication.

—BREAK—

Learning sucks! I mean...I am, what I think of as a life-long learner. I always loved school and, honestly, I would love to just be a career college student. ha! I'm the one that every time those class catalogues come thru from the local community college, i always work my way through it to see if there's any adult education classes or courses I could take. And, I'm not narrowed in on any ONE thing, any one topic. I'm interested in art, and finance, and business, anatomy, behavioral neuroscience. I like documentaries, I like attending lectures, I even like looking things up on Wikipedia. I mean...I just LIKE acquiring knowledge.

I think that's part of why I love my work with trial attorneys. Every coaching session, I make my clients teach me new things; teach me ANYTHING that I would need to know in order to be equipped and successful if I was a juror on their trial.

Knowledge ACQUISITION is the fun part. That's the part I'm good at. But learning itself? The process of knowledge assimilation? That kinda sucks. That's where you have to put in work.

And you know, it just doesn't seem fair. ha! It SEEMS like I should be able to cognitively understand something and (shrug) call it good. Good to go.

It's truly one of the greatest frustrations of my life that that's just NOT how it works. That's not how real learning works. And I get reminded of that every single time I run into something I think I should already be good at—but I’m not.

Have you ever had to play those icebreaker, group games where you go around have have to share some little known fact about yourself? We all hate those, right? Well...my "little known fact" is that I LOVE road cycling. You know...like the Tour de France? But, I mean, it goes way beyond that. Yes, I DO restructure the month of July so that I can watch all the early morning coverage of the most magnificent cycling race in the world. But i also watch all the primetime coverage, and I read the blogs, and I listen to the podcasts, and I follow team social media pages, and...it's not just about The Tour. I follow the Spring classics, the monuments, and the other two grand tours. Every year. For twenty years. I have several bike law clients that I coach, and I'm the one giving them updates on who's winning what stages, or crashing out, or placing where on the leaderboards.

I can talk for hours about this topic, and hey...if you ALSO like talking about road cycling, hit me up. I'd LOVE to have another buddy to discuss with.

But regardless of how much I know about road racing and how much I love watching it and structure my life and manage my time around it...do i ride a bike myself? Nope. I don't even own a bike.

Knowledge ABOUT cycling, is just not the same as BEING a cyclist. And it’s the exact same thing with speaking in the courtroom. Knowing what makes a great communicator doesn’t make you one—just like studying cycling doesn’t mean I can ride.

To truly move from acquisition to assimilation, it takes the ability to build neural pathways & create muscle memory. Think of it like this...the brain creates grooves for each of the behaviors and repeated thoughts that have become habits. When you learn new things, you start creating new little track marks. But the brain feels threatened.

It's one job is to protect you and keep you alive. Any change away from the habits it already has it sees as a threat. That's when all those super fun thoughts creep in that tell you how inadequate you are, how you're never going to get it, you're not good enough/smart enough/strong enough for this new thing.

And this resistance is even stronger when we're doing something new that feels like it should come naturally—when we're stepping just outside our comfort zone but still in familiar territory. That's when frustration kicks in because we think we should already be good at it.

I mean, the brain is really kind of a jerk about it. But...it IS trying to protect us, so we need to not begrudge it. We need to thank it and say "I appreciate you, I know you're trying to do right by me, but we're also going to do this new thing today, okay?"

If you are a cycling enthusiast, and you put in long miles on the road with your cycling group every Saturday, then you're invited to go mountain biking. There's a lot of crossover to mountain biking, right? I mean, it's a bike and you know how to ride one. Confidently. You've maybe even won races in road cycling.

All of that is true, but you still have to adapt to a new terrain, and in fact, a totally different style of bike. You're going to work new muscles. You're going to feel it the next day.

And that’s exactly what happens when attorneys try to elevate their speaking in trial. You already know how to talk—just like a road cyclist already knows how to ride—but now you have to adapt to a new environment, new demands, and new skills that feel uncomfortable at first.

Intentional, strategic vocal development for the courtroom is just like mountain biking. Kind of. But with far less concern of breaking every bone in your body. haha!

But what I mean is, you speak. And you have since you were a toddler. Speaking is not new to you. So, you may think, "hey! I know what I'm doing. This isn't something I need to work on." And in some settings, you're absolutely right. You're a road cyclist riding on the road. Awesome!

Courtroom communication, though? Connecting with jurors on a personal level that is just the right level of compelling without being creepy? Equipping them with the case knowledge they need through teaching mastery? Being an engaging storyteller — and a different storyteller than when you're just hanging out with your buddies? Well...that's mountain biking.

It's not better or worse than. We're not pitting them against each other. Mountain bikers would probably feel the same way about adapting to road cycling.

We're simply recognizing that in order to elevate your courtroom communication, you're going to have to practice some new skills under the umbrella of something you already do exceptionally well.

And, to be honest, that can feel a little silly. I'm not sure why, but it is hardest to try bold new things, to be a little "foolish" when I'm by myself. When no one else is around, why is THAT the time that I have to muster up the MOST amount of courage and bravery? I don't know. I guess we ARE our worst critics. It's hard to extend grace for ourselves and be patient with ourselves in the learning process, while we're building those new neural pathways. It's a lot of repetition and imperfection.

That's how you develop a SKILL. And it kinda sucks. i mean, it IS fun (or it can be), but it sucks that you're not perfect right away. Acquisition just isn't the same as assimilation.

Have patience for the process. Honor your efforts. You're trying something. Practice in low-stakes situations. Work with a coach. Work with someone who can give you feedback and give you personalized instruction to improve and support you while you develop the instincts you need; while you're building those new vocal habits.

So here’s the thing—there’s not necessarily a right or wrong here. You’re already a speaker. You're already a lawyer. You already communicate every day. But if you want to elevate that skill—if you want to be intentional about how you connect, engage, and equip a jury—then it takes more than just knowing what good communication looks like.

It takes practice. It takes skill-building. It takes giving yourself the space to grow. And if you’re willing to lean into that process, you’ll find yourself communicating in a way that doesn’t just get heard—it gets results.

Commit to fostering your voice. I’ll see you next time.