OR LISTEN...

In this episode, we tackle a common concern many attorneys have when working on vocal techniques: "Does experimenting with my voice feel fake or inauthentic?" Spoiler alert: It's not inauthentic—it’s just new! Let’s break down why this fear arises, how it holds you back as a communicator, and what you can do to overcome it.

🔑 Key Takeaways:

1. The Fear of Inauthenticity

1. Jurors can sense insincerity, but the fear of being perceived as fake often leads to communication that’s flat and uninspiring.

2. This fear stems from the misconception that you have only one authentic way of speaking.

2. Debunking the Myth of “One Authentic Voice”

1. You already adapt your voice in different contexts—talking to kids, pets, or friends. All of these voices are still YOU.

2. Experimenting with your voice doesn’t make it fake; it’s simply a new skill to develop.

3. Think of Your Voice as an Instrument

1. Like learning to play an instrument, vocal work requires practice and patience.

2. Embrace the “awkward stage,” just as you would with any new skill.

4. Testing in Low-Stakes Situations

1. Practice small changes in casual, low-pressure interactions:

2. Raise your pitch slightly when ordering coffee.

3. Speak a bit louder when asking a store clerk a question.

4. Test in situations where people have no preconceptions about how you “normally” sound.

5. These experiments help you build confidence and expand your range.

🎯 Actionable Challenge:

This week, try one of the following:

1. Pitch Experimentation: If you usually speak in a low chest voice, raise it slightly for casual interactions.

2. Volume Adjustment: Increase your voice to a 6 or 7 out of 10 when speaking in public.

3. Awareness Check: Notice when your fear of inauthenticity holds you back and remind yourself—it’s not fake, it’s just new!

🌟 Why This Matters:

Becoming a masterful communicator is a choice and a commitment. Your clients need your vocal confidence. Jurors need your vocal range to stay engaged. And the world needs your voice to advocate for justice.

🛠️ Resources:

1. Interested in a training on Maximizing Juror Engagement? Let’s talk! Contact me here.

2. Watch this episode on YouTube: Foster Your Voice

3. Get your FREE GUIDE to 10x Your Communication Impact: DOWNLOAD HERE

🎧 Subscribe and leave a review!

Let’s keep fostering your voice, one episode at a time.

TRANSCRIPT

Helllooooo! Welcome, welcome! Thanks for being here today and for being part of The Foster Fam. We're just a few episodes into this podcasting adventure and the response has been really encouraging.

One listener said [insert quote from Christina Chisum in the GYE]. “When the student is ready, the master appears.” I am thrilled to discover the Foster Your Voice podcast and voice expert Kristi Foster. Powerful, professional wisdom in a concise, action-oriented format. I listened to this first episode three times in a row and picked up more wisdom each listen. This podcast will help me massively increase good communication skills and simultaneously decrease the frustrations from being misunderstood.

—Christina Chisum

I love that! Thank you Christina.

I'd love everyone's continued help in getting the word out about this podcast. If you're a trial attorney or if you know a trial attorney, or really anyone that has to communicate to anyone ever (haha!), please share this with them and, if you don't mind, go ahead and leave a star rating and write a quick review.

Hey, before we really get into today's topic, take just a second to check in with your face. If you're at a stop light in your car, just look into your mirror quick and just bring awareness to your face.

How's your forehead doing? How about those two lines between your eyebrows? Can you release any tension there?

Are you squinting? Can you soften your eyes a bit?

Where is your tongue? What's it doing? Are your teeth clinched or is your jaw completely shut? Try this...try releasing your jaw and letting your teeth separate just a little bit. Keep you mouth closed and keep breathing through your nose. But just let your jaw go a little slack and let your teeth unclinch. Then, let your tongue just touch the roof of your mouth gently. Like, towards the top teeth but just slightly behind, and then have just a light suction to the top of the mouth. There shouldn't be any pressure or force. Of course, now you're probably forcing because you're thinking about it and being purposeful with mouth placement. But, just try to find this nicely relaxed position.

Check in with your face throughout the day. Particularly when you're in thinking times or high concentration zones.

[story of mom reaching over and touching my forehead while watching TV as a family — "what're you thinking about, Kristi?"]

As I tell my clients all the time, "Think with your brain, not with your face."

If there is unnecessary tension you're holding in your face, jaw, neck, shoulders, or hands...just look for opportunities to release that. It's cellular energy being expended in unproductive, un-useful, un-purposeful ways. Reclaim that energy and redirect it to strategic communication. Keep healing that mind-body connection that we discussed in last week's episode.

— BREAK -- 

Last summer, I was doing a virtual training for a group of Wisconsin attorneys all about Maximizing Juror Engagement. Side note, if this is something you'd like me to work with your firm or your lawyer group on, just reach out. I'll put the link in the description and we can talk options.

Anyway, the training is about the five vocal building blocks — pitch, pace, melody, volume, and tone — and then who are the 5 types of listeners you have in the jury box at any given time. Once you know these things, then you can strategically use your vocal building blocks to meet their listening and learning needs so that they stay engaged.

Okay, so after doing all this vocal exploration and discussing the need to expand your vocal range, someone said in the Q&A, "But, it just feels so inauthentic. I feel like I'm so fake when i talk that way."

Look, I totally get it. Jurors can see through insincere and inauthentic presentational style a mile away. We know how off-putting that performative model is — it feels manipulative, even smarmy. #Gross

Of course that's the complete opposite of how you want to be perceived in the courtroom.

Because of this fear of being perceived as inauthentic, you then suppress all communication creativity, and go to an opposite extreme of being vocally flat and uninteresting.

So, what do we do?

Well, first, I want to look at it from a different angle.

Let's consider that our feelings are the outcome from thoughts that we hold. We feel things because of a thought that we have about a particular situation, circumstance, or thing. This feeling that experimenting with your voice is inauthentic, stems from a thought or belief that you only have ONE authentic self, therefore, anything beyond the bounds of what you always do, how you always communicate, feels fake and phony.

So, let's just debunk this:

1. Don't you talk differently to little kids than you do to professional colleagues. At least I hope so. BOTH voices come from you.

2. And how about how you speak to your pets? Does that feel foreign and inauthentic? That is also you.

3. You talk differently when you're hangry than when you're rested & content. BOTH are you.

4. You talk differently to your wife than you do to your pick-up basketball guys. BOTH are are.

You are a complex human being. STOP being so committed to the idea that you only have ONE authentic way of being, ONE authentic way of speaking.

That's a LIE and it's holding you back from growing as a communicator.

You're just not used to doing those instinctive vocal changes in professional settings. But your voice is literally COMING OUT OF YOU. What could be more authentic than that.

So, listen...it's not inauthentic, it's just new. But, think of a student who is learning an instrument for the first time. You might even have a 5th grader in your home that just joined their school band or orchestra and your home is full of awkward blurts and blatts. You don't berate them and tell them how "inauthentic" they are. NO! They're just learning. You give them time and space to learn. You trust that they can learn in safe environments.

Think of your voice and nonverbal development as learning to play an instrument. You're going to have to PRACTICE it before it starts to feel more natural. You're going to have to try some things that will feel a little awkward for a bit. But EVERYBODY GOES THROUGH PUBERTY. We all have our awkward stage.

Of course, puberty was biological and you didn't really have a choice. Becoming a masterful communicator will be a CHOICE you have to make and a commitment to do the work and grow in your skills.

But here's the trick...Test things in low-stakes situations. Test with people that don't have a prior frame of reference to what you normally sound like, with people who haven't previously matched your look with your sound. Comedians who test out their sets in clubs before going on tour, you have to test out your voice to gauge what works.

So, what are you testing?

1. When you place your next coffee order, try raising your voice up just a little bit. [low chest voice] If you regularly speak down here, [middle voice] try speaking here. With someone who doesn't know you. Test it. You'll see that they don't react at all. They don't know any different and you don't sound inauthentic to THEM.

2. When you're buying stamps, or checking out a book, or asking a grocery store clerk where the capers are located (which...now you have a weird insight into my life & routine. ha!), when you do those things, just talk a little louder than usual. Just a little. Elevate your voice to, like a 6 or 7 on a 1-10 scale, considering that you're probably usually around a 5 on the 1-10 scale.

Remember...it's not inauthentic, it's just new. Lean into the newness and be strong and of good courage. You can do it. Your clients need you to do it. Jurors need you to do it.

And I'm here to help you "foster your voice."